This I promise you
by Linneagb
Summary: Tracy, Mike and Cam sit down by their laptops and have a talk in the aftermath of chain reaction. A lot of talking, feelings and stupid humor- just kind of sweet.


**I got this idea from something x snow-pony x wrote. Or maybe some things… Anyway, a part of this story's credit should go to her. It's set right after the episode 'chain reaction' and that's it- enjoy!**

My fingers were shaking towards the buttons on my laptop's keyboard as I called up Cam for a video chat and then waited for her to answer. And while a part of me wanted her to pick up as quickly as possible, another part wanted me for Cam not to answer at all. To spare me more time before I had to face her- rather for her.

"It's okay." Mike sat right by me and patted my shoulder. "Just… say what you feel. What you really feel…" I nodded, feeling it wasn't so simple. But before I had the chance to say anything the screen on my laptop blinked and Cam's face appeared. "Hey Cam."

"Oh. Mike. Hey… And hey Tracy." Cam smiled brightly while I fixed with the laptop to make sure Cam would be able to see both me and Mike on her screen- or it might just have been to spare me some more time and try and be able to force away the tears burning behind my eyes.

"How are you Cam?" I heard Mike by my side trying to start a conversation while I fixed. "Tracy told me about your job."

"Things are great over here." I could hear only from the sound of Cam's voice how excited she was. "How are things over there?"

"They're good." I answered quickly and before Mike had the chance to say anything else. "We just wanted to check how you are doing. And on his afternoon off… it has been quite a dramatic day and… Mike wanted to say hi."

"Tracy…" Mike sounded hesitant and I knew he was being dead serious when he spoke like that. "Cam… Tracy… I think Tracy wants to tell you something." I should have known Mike would make a big deal out of this. "And Tracy…" He patted my shoulder. "It's okay…" For every word he said, and for every second I could watch Cam's expression going more and more distressed, it just seemed like the lump in my throat grew bigger and bigger. "She won't leave… None of us will."

"Leave?" Cam spat. "For what? Tracy, what is it? Tracy…" I could see Cam move to the camera and tried to be able to look me right into the eyes. "…You know you can tell me anything. Anything and everything- even if you've done something bad."

"Yes I know."

"Although." I could tell on the look on Cam's face she was trying to come up with some lame joke. "Could you imagine all the bad things you have already done that weren't bad enough? Like set fire to my flat? Twice."

"That second time wasn't my fault." I tried to sound as if I wasn't on the verge of crying. "It was…"

"It was your fault." Cam protested jokily. "You shouldn't have left the girls alone. Oh and I could never have left the twelve or even the fifteen or sixteen year old Tracy on your own for a single day. It would be disaster. How would you get out of bed in the morning and come in time for work? What would you eat… Turkey nuggets? My god those turkey nuggets." I moaned, I hadn't eaten turkey nuggets once after that 'bargain' I'd made along with Crash. "Oh, and that kind of cereal from that radio show."

"Oh…" Mike interrupted. "…And McDonald's food. Oh, and hotdogs. Like those you and Sapphire…" Mike couldn't even talk about that time- he only broke down laughing. "…Oh my…" I smiled slightly, but tears were burning in my eyes and the lump in my throat kept me from speaking. "Oh Tracy." Mike laid his arm around me and pulled me close. "It's alright."

I couldn't fight it any longer. Two big tears escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, at last landing onto Mike's shirt.

Just as I had calmed down earlier today and the children had made Lily's surprise party into my surprise party, Gus had figured the world record for the longest paper chain, and Seth had arrived. There hadn't been much thinking left to really deal with things. And things were still bottled up from earlier, so here came the waterworks with no way of stopping them.

For a moment, I wasn't so sure if it was five seconds or five days there was nothing I could do than to almost lie in Mike's arms like that while tears as good as spurted from my eyes and down on his shirt. And it felt good when I realized that both Mike and Cam stayed.

Just stayed.

When I sat back up for real I wasn't so sure what I should neither say nor do. But I wouldn't have had to worry and maybe I should have known that while Mike had started talking before I could have even taken the chance to.

"Growing up is a scary thing to do." Mike said as calmly as he only could and would when I needed him to. "Especially at the times when all there's left to do is to do just that. But look at you now, ten or even five years ago and I would never guess or… understand who you would or could grow up to be. And here you are…. And here I am. There Cam is…" Mike pointed to Cam's face on my laptop's screen. "And here we are and here we'll stay. Whatever happens… No matter what happens here we will stay- not literally as you might understand and God you probably never knew how much you'd want us away after like five minutes… But we will stay here or there or anywhere. Right by your side… Always!"

"Tracy." Barely had Mike finished talking when Cam took over. "Do you want me to come back?"

"NO." I shouted and interrupted. "No Cam, that's not what I wanted…" I hurried to wipe the tears and smile. "I want you to be happy and I've never seen you this excited. I promise you I'll be fine and…"

"TRACY." Now it was Cam's time to shout and interrupt. "I don't care about any stupid job. Jobs can be replaced… You can't, and you mean more to me than any kind of job ever would. So if you want me to come back I promise you, I'll be on the next plane home."

"No…" My voice sounded weaker this time and I had to clear my throat and take a deep breath to continue. "…I don't want you to come back… It's just that… I miss you."

Cam smiled towards the screen and I could see tears starting to rise in her eyes too.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry too."

"Well there is no one I want to make me cry more than you." I couldn't help but laugh and Cam laughed too. "I'll stay then but… But only if you promise me one thing Tracy Beaker, and one thing only." I nodded. "That from now on, you tell me how you really feel. Or Mike, or Gina, or Seth or… some fat cat you meet out on the street… Just get it out and… and stay able to stay the Tracy Beaker we all know and love… So if you want me to come back I will. And you promise me that if you want me to then you tell me. Okay? Deal?"

"Deal." I cleared my throat. "Today has been an eventful day but… I don't think I've ever realized how much you guys mean to me before, you two and Gina and Seth and everybody. So maybe… the part where I felt so lonely as I did earlier… was mostly on myself."

"Don't worry Trace." Mike squeezed my hand, and his felt so warm? Why did my hands always get so cold when I cried? "That feeling isn't unique, we have all been there. And if you as much as try and blame and beat yourself up for it I'll tell you about each and every time I felt it. And then we'd be here for hours." I couldn't help but laugh through the tears.

 _My friends and their stupid kinds of humor._

"It's been nice talking to you. But I think we'll have to end this here." I wiped the tears that would only keep on coming and told the two by my sides before any of us did have the time to think of something else. "Or this will never stop. Maybe we could talk again tomorrow. Hopefully after a good night's sleep."

 _The first time in God knows how long for me._

"Are you sure about that Trace?" Cam asked. "The crying doesn't bother me. I just want you to tell me how you really feel."

"I do… and I will… But right now I just feel like I need a few… a lot of hours of sleep before I can think clearly again… And like I want to talk to you tomorrow again. And the day after that. And the day after that."

"Okay, okay. I get it." Cam finally smiled again. "Call me at any time. Even if it's in the middle of the night here… or there…" I nodded slightly but didn't dare to say anything just yet. "Love you."

"Love you."

And then, just like that the screen was empty. And so felt I, a minute ago I had been crying but it just felt like all the feelings ran off with the web camera picture of Cam right in front of me. A part of me still wanted to cry- yet another part of me never wanted to cry again. Enough with the waterworks now!

"Well… does that feel good?" I nodded at Mike's question, feeling too weak to say anything. "Are you okay?" I nodded again. "How are you feeling? And what will you do next time something like this happens?" His eyes were almost glittering right now.

"I feel alright." I finally found my voice again. "And I won't bottle things up like that again." I drew a deep breath. "Thank you for coming with me. What time is it?"

"Bedtime. And if anything happens again…" Mike patted my shoulder for what must have been the billionth time only today. "Just tell me. I won't leave, and I won't get mad. And neither will Cam. I promise… Time for me to go home then or what do you say?" Without waiting for an answer Mike got down from the chair and went for the hallway. And I was left at the kitchen counter feeling empty and not knowing what to think again.

"Mike…" While Mike was pulling his jacket on I had an idea. But slightly hesitated. "Can I ask you for one more favor today?" Mike slightly chuckled. "It has already been so much but…"

"What do you want Tracy?"

"I was thinking…" I pulled on my best puppy eyes, knowing Mike could never tell me no if I looked at him like this. "Maybe… only for tonight. Maybe you can stay here… Only for tonight." Mike hesitated and I blinked slightly, feeling that darn lump in my throat grew bigger again.

 _What if I had another nightmare and nobody was there?_

"Please?"

"Okay then." Mike threw his arms out to the sides in a move to show he couldn't tell me no. "But I've got to go home and get some things." I nodded, then breathed out while he moved towards the door.

"Mike?"

"Yes?" I could almost hear the way Mike suppressed a sigh. "What is it pumpkin?" He didn't turn around until he noticed I hadn't answered for several seconds. And I was choosing the right words. "Yes?"

"Do you promise…"

I hoped with everything I had that Mike wouldn't ask me what I wanted him to promise. Because if he had asked I wasn't so sure I had known what to answer. But in my confusion Mike looked about as confused as I felt, then he suddenly smiled and gave a slight smile.

"I promise."

 **Random fact**

There is an optional piece at the end I couldn't decide whether to add or not. But I decided to leave it here. So you can ignore it if you want. It's only a few lines.

"Mike?"

"Yes."

"Bring back some turkey nuggets on the way back will you?"


End file.
